My fellow bloggers

A think piece all the fault of the myopic one

Yesterday I went for lunch and a drive with the guys. I accidentally left my camera in my car which provoked some stress during the day. I mean a whole day without photos. What would happen if I saw something?

Since I got my digicam I have been an absolute pain (as those who have been with me when Im playing will attest). Im too focussed on photographing to share the experience with those with me, even to listen/talk to them. I slow down walks with the need to take a photo every 10m. And I obsess about taking a particular shot at the expense of others which are probably better. Im not the only one. I can list the places Ive been where everyone is too busy photographing the moment to actually live/enjoy it. At Wicklow I saw two teenagers posing with 5 taking photos - no doubt all 5 of those photos were blogged that night.

It is the obsession of our generation. No longer do you travel with a pair of jocks, a 3rd hand 5 year old Lonely Planet guide and a towel. Now its digital camera and laptop (and a pair of jocks and a towel!). Add in a GPS and compass for me since work is never far from play. I was amazed in a Muinch hostel last year at the absence of boring stories from my fellow backpackers. Instead they whipped out a camera and showed me the photos. Which helps avoid those stories of "You know the one, you walk up the main road, turn right across the bridge and its on the other side". Call it a diary, a web log, a photo journal, documenting, life caching, whatever you will but everyones doing it. Some are travel journals, others diaries, some are scrapbooks of fragments of poetry, art, photography. Some are all at once. A new one for me from Europe is the group blog - a uni/school class use their blog as a bulletin board, all blogging their news or just posting jokes and pictures that otherwise would be forwarded around.

I started blogging when I moved here as a way to avoid group emails or writing the same email to 20 people with a little change each time. Its a way to get allow everyone access to see the things Im seeing, hear the things Im hearing, join in the things Im doing. Its up to you if you look at it or not so I dont have to worry if the people receiving are interested or not, whether I should have more/less/bigger/smaller photos so I dont fill peoples inboxes, if their mailbox is full or that email address isnt checked anymore. For those that do read they have the choice to only look at what they want (photos only cos I talk too much? Fine!) or to ask more questions about the bits they're interested in. With any luck it might inspire, or provoke a response or just provide a start to a conversation and yes occasionally it is attention seeking.

Its not just a mix of a photo-journal, diary and travel log but a means of communication and expression too. So its occasionally wordy, sometimes verbose and certainly not a list of places seen. Think about the difference between a documentary maker and a film maker - a film maker tries to tell a story and make you feel, a documentary maker holds up a mirror, transmits a view. Some people are more natural journalists, other create stories, sometimes about fact, sometimes about fiction. Certainly a lot of my writing is creative. Partly that comes from my nervousness at time to take photos in public (I hate revealing myself as a tourist or feeling that Im exposing myself as "different"). As a result I often end up painting word pictures. When I talk about a town I dont just give the tourist view I give my view. Right or wrong, factual or ill-informed and occasionally a personal connection.

And thats where it gets interesting as I try not to make it too personal. I hate the million blogs from college students called Rebecca or Brad that crap on about their not very interesting lives ("OMG I have a 3000 word essay to write before Monday and Im soooo tired after going out last night with Nicole but you should seen this guy she kissed"). Yes those conversations have a place but taking up megabytes on the internet isnt it. I dont believe people are that interested in whether Im tired or have a lot of work on or that I had muesli for breakfast. Fair point that I often blog what I did on my weekend and sometimes it isnt that interesting. But I dont like spilling my guts in public - I keep most feelings to myself and like it that way. However I also feel that keeping all my views/feelings out means losing the point of view which makes this more than just a photojournal or a travel guide. So the line between personal impression and personal diary is hard to maintain at times.

Whether blog or fiction whenever people can identify themselves there is a possibility of that relationship being altered. I am (or at least I feel I am) easily identifiable both at home and also in Portugal. So what I say can not only affect my personal life but my professional one - my reputation in the community, my relationship with the guys I work with, my company's image, even share market disclosure laws. Like an true egoshootr I am able to impress and embarass with one post, to communicate and open myself could also be to shoot myself in the foot. Hence my natural paranoia about the photos I take reaches new heights, and my desire to keep things anonymous and impersonal is increased. A lot of the guys here know that I take photos "for my mates in Australia", and some know I have a blog. But photos of people are only posted after much angst. Nicknames are preferred to names and used only when absolutely neccessary. Which keeps more to be hinted at, to be read beneath the lines.

A lot of time a response surprises you - there are times you forget that an audience is out there. At other times you find yourself expecting others to respond. Some are more confident in commenting on blogs, in turning them into a conversation. I find it hard at times with others, and certainly dont expect it on mine. But I probably view it as sending the first email and become passive at other forms of commnication as a result. I have been surprised at some of the people who have read this blog - its fantastic, hopefully it gives them a window into the experience - but they also remind you that what you write is out there and being read and makes you careful what you say. Ive chosen to have this blog public and freely shared the address. Hey why not?! l love telling stories - I just hate revealing my feelings!! In keeping other people out of the subject matter I make this blog more and more about me, meaning that when others react to what Im saying or feeling they really react to how they see their place in my life or my development. Which of course may not be anything to do with what Im trying to say. Many of these posts are written for or inspired by people, often with more feeling in them than is apparent. Those who know me can read the signs, can understand the jokes aimed at them, those sentences baited to provoke a response. But being a public blog means it has to be vague, hinted at, an intellectual game for the audience to play.

In doing that I keep a control on myself too. No-one blogs in preference to going to the pub, or heading out on a trip. Blogging by definition is a solo game, often done in a reflective mood. If its done after a good night out it can be in the afterglow of a great time, or equally during the come down, the tired and hungover day after, those January blues after a great silly season, a winters day kept inside with no outlet for creativity except work and blog. For those prone to introspection the solitude can give such expression a melancholy tone, something as simple as thoughtful pondering can sound like despair and depression. Again thats the audience. In being more explicit you could dissuade those thoughts. But that loses the lyricism of the writer, the beauty of the unspoken moment. At any stage where you expose yourself to public view you risk analysis and embarrasment, self analysis in hindsight can make you cringe at some of the things you've written.

Others are more open and more personal in their blogs, partly because they are more comfortable with who's reading or that theres less information linking them to their blog. They may be more circumspect in keeping their blog for themselves, or for their friends, either by friend-locking, only revealing the url to a chosen few or the complete extreme of a public blog which can't be linked to them. That other net phenomenon - the setting up of an internet persona, someone who is not you, that nom de plume who can be hidden behind when you want to get on with your own life, or who represents things that you are not neccessarily in your day to day life and gives you the confidence to say things that otherwise you wouldnt. The internet equivalent on putting on a mask and cape and becoming a superhero. This can confuse those who know your disguise with who you really are - the person across the table in the cafe or the blogger. But also the essence of the creative process, to put yourself in someone else's shoes and write as if you weren't yourself. People can be more creative in their blogs when theyre not based on fact/linked to their life. But if they turn their blogs into fiction does that ruin the benefit of anonymity. Equally if people turn their lives into novels using their blogs as a framework how will that work for them? Their audience may be comfortable with the relationship as a blog, the ability to comment, to restrict who sees. Also does an entertaining blog make an entertaining book, if you convert it into fiction will you have to take some of the time&place context out? In removing that, or removing parts about yourself do you remove the essence?

The future will probably start with pruning - easier access to and wider reading of the good ones, death to the bad. Even publication (if that isnt a backward step). Also easier sharing of photos (as you take them?), or other multimedia. Will reality TV is replaced by people carrying a webcam with them? And then the same choices/angst - some will have them on all the time, some just when they're out or when youre travelling - but these issues will make those of blogging pale in comparison. Will you be talking to your friend over coffee, or to all their friends too through the net? Will you switch your cam off while your friend asks your advice? Will you keep yours on during a date so your friends can sms advice (and hers can give her their impression of you? And if it goes well will you switch your cam off while having sex?!